my mother called me last night to exclusively tell me that the jobs I applied for were filled. not by me. then I yelled "I WISH I WAS BRIAN WILSON" and climbed into bed with a glass of wine.
I have a mountain of cups on my desk. seven cups stacked on top of each other, leaning precariously over me when I sit & type. a stack of vultures just watching me. I use the cups and then I never take them back downstairs again. there is a wine glass next to the cup, making sticky reddish rings. I never wash it, I just fill it up over & over again. most of my life has been not finishing things. leaving them half assed. just once I would like to finish something & think YEAH. thank god. that was good.
I guess it's good to have something to look forward to.
I am not so much in love with my life right now. I am waiting and waiting for things to happen; I have a list of countdowns that I keep counting down, and it never seems to get any closer or better.
I didn't get out of bed till 11 today. I laid there and stared at the ceiling and thought of all the things that I miss & all the things that I am waiting for.
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7 comments:
oh man, i can relate to all of that. i have about 15 countdowns as well. damn this graduating thing and having ti figure shit out thing and having to wait for other people decide so that you can know what your future might be thing. damndamndamn.
also, there are about 9 partially drank diet coke cans around my room at any given moment
Oh man, tricky has been stuck in my head all day. I lost my shit when your page started playing it.
As for my query about your plans this weekend; I'm going to be through the south bend/elkhart area late thursday on my way to see evil dead the musical in toronto and I was wondering if you'd like to come along. We'd be returning you early saturday, so you would be able to go to any family stuff on sunday (we could even drop you off in chicago if need be). Let me know if you're jellin like a felon on this.
deet: I have a great idea. let's not get jobs. let's just live in o'laughlin & help with shows forever. & you can make jokes about special visitors and we'll be happy ever after.
sam: run d.m.c. / tricky = newest obsession. *p, even after all this time.
I'm afraid I won't be able to go with you this weekend. if it was any weekend but this. :/ I have church tonight tommorrow & saturday. I'd be totally jellin if it wasn't for that. dammmmmmmit.
understandable, I figured I'd ask. I didn't even realize this weekend was Easter until a few days ago.
Remember how things always go full circle?
done.
You've been awarded (rewarded?)
go here: http://cdeet.blogspot.com/2008/03/celebrate.html
sorry, idk how to use HTML :(
(if you dont want you title listed, I understand, lemme know and ill take it off. on the other hand, if you want me to link, i can do that too. I just didnt wanna upset you)
sammy: we for sure have to do something else and soon. okay? okay. also whenever I see a thugged out kid on a tiny bike, I remember that summer we spent driving around "looking for jobs" and all the people we were going to include in our adventures. full circle for sure.
deet: awwwwww you're the best for your re(a)ward! & I don't mind if you post my name/link/whatever; it's totally cool. don't you worry about upsetting me, I'm pretty chill.
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