in which I'll be right back.

tonight I'm going to ohio with my mom. my aunt is having a masectomy tommorrow. I don't know my aunt very well & we're not very close but something felt right about going. I feel like I'm in a secret club. I helped pick out a book & card for her at target. my knees got shaky looking at the get well cards. I'm not very astute these days.


it rained a lot today. I jumped in a puddle at notre dame, just because I could, and got my ankles wet.

in which don't leave me dry.

I was at the beach all day yesterday. I got a sunburn on the curve of my left hip, a gentle prickling pink that stings more than it aches. I haven't celebrated (read: gone far away from everyone) labor day in 4 years, because school was always in session on labor day. which was a very flawed choice, but I do digress. after nearly a month of doing laundry & putting sweaty sleeves on sweaty actors, it was nice to do nothing. I laid on an 11-foot raft with OK! & ELLE & my sunglasses. sometimes I swam. sometimes I ate. usually I just laid there.


I'm getting sick. I can tell by 3 surefire indications:
1. because my nose feels strange. I read that you're supposed to snort a pinch of salt & a handful of water to clear your nose, & then snort it back out again. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. mostly because of my immaturity when I read the name of the practice. "nasal douching" is still funny.
2. because I'm very tired. that... actually might not be an indication of impending illness. I am doomed to eternal lethargy. it's in my genes. if I were a deadly sin I suppose I would be sloth.
3. because I've been craving juice. apple juice, grape juice, & cranberry juice, to be specific, but at this point I would stick my teeth into a raw apple & suck on it in hopes of becoming a fruit vampire or something. I only crave juice when I'm sick & this is a definite craving. I didn't even drink my usual 12 pints of coffee this morning (oh horror, horror).

anyway, I suppose jobless is a good state to be in when one is sick. I am still applying for jobs; I am not losing hope. I'm writing & helping at notre dame & picking up my sisters from school & being delightfully domestic. I made chili & cookies & bread last week alone. I'm enjoying my free weekends & my free time. this is a fine old state to be in. (I know it seems like I'm reinforcing this for myself, since I keep repeating it, but I'm actually truly happy. maybe a little bit lonely but generally happy. strange but true.) sometimes I miss college. mostly I think about what's still to come.