in which, we're just learning to be still.

FINALS WEEK, also known as : a week of finality, literally.


I have been keeping to myself the past couple of days, recluse style. it's like the end of freshman year part 2. but in a way this is refreshing. I'm arming myself, prepping for the inevitable next week. I'm also: finishing papers, cleaning, getting rid of old shit, & sleeping much more than is actually healthy. yiiiikes.


yesterday my mom took me clothes shopping all day. I have never spent so much money/I have never had so much money spent on me in my whole life (maybe when I was a baby, but not since then). it was alternately terrifying and thrilling. but in the end I just had a really bitchin time with my mom, who I'm head over heels in platonic daughterly love with, partly because she threw up her raspberry fruity cocktail in the bathroom of an uno's pizza & emerged smiling & classy. a-mazing.



but I plan to rejoin the ranks of the sociable sometime soon. I think I'm finally caught up on sleep & finally over rejection. everyone finds a job, eventually. everyone works eventually. & it will all work itself out, if I stop jumping up & down stressing about it oh my god. my parents made it clear this weekend that summer doesn't have to mean starting work ASAP. if I don't have a job, I can stay home for awhile. it's cool. I got a really sweet message of reassurence from a really good friend, & another sweet email from someone I've been having lots of trouble with. & even though it's cold outside, & even though I have a physics final tonight, & even though it totally looks like something exploded in my room, I'm still okay.